BBC Quotes

This is just for fun. For those of you who haven't finished watching both seasons, though, I must issue a...

☆ SPOILER ALERT ☆

disclaimer: i do not own these quotes. they were recorded on WikiQuote.

Molly Hooper: I was wondering if you’d like to have coffee?

Sherlock Holmes: Black, two sugars please. I’ll be upstairs.

Sherlock Holmes: Mrs. Hudson the landlady is giving me a special deal. She owes me a favor. A few years back her husband got himself sentenced to death in Florida. I was able to help her.

John Watson: So you stopped her husband from being executed?

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, no. I ensured it.

Sherlock Holmes: Shut up.

Lestrade: I didn't say anyth —

Sherlock Holmes: You were thinking. It's annoying.

Sherlock Holmes: It’s obvious, isn’t it?

John Watson: It’s not obvious to me.

Sherlock Holmes: Dear God. What is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.

John Watson: You don’t have a girlfriend, then?

Sherlock Holmes: Girlfriend? No, not really my area.

John Watson: Oh right then. [pause] Do you have a boyfriend? Which is fine, by the way —

Sherlock Holmes: I know it’s fine.

John Watson: So you’ve got a boyfriend?

Sherlock Holmes: No.

John Watson: Right, okay. You’re unattached, just like me. Fine. Good.

Sherlock Holmes: John, um... I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work and while I am flattered by your interest I’m —

John Watson: No —

Sherlock Holmes: — really not looking for anyone —

John Watson: No. I’m not asking — no. I was just saying. It’s all fine.

Sherlock Holmes: Good. Thank you.

Sherlock Holmes: Shut up everybody, shut up! Don't move, don't speak, don't breathe, I'm trying to think. Anderson, face the other way, you're putting me off.

Anderson: What, my face is?

DI Lestrade: Everybody, quiet. Anderson, turn your back.

Anderson: Oh, for God's sake...

DI Lestrade: Your back! Now, please!

Sherlock Holmes: Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street.

Everyone: [stares blankly]

Sherlock Holmes: Look at you lot. You're all so vacant. Is it nice not being me? It must be so relaxing.

Sherlock Holmes: [sitting in the back of an ambulance as a paramedic throws a garish orange blanket over his shoulders] Why have I got this blanket? They keep putting this blanket on me!

Lestrade: Yeah, that's for shock.

Sherlock Holmes: I'm not in shock!

later: 

Sherlock Holmes: Ignore all of that. It's just the, uh, shock talking.

DI Lestrade: Wait, where are you going?

Sherlock Holmes: I just need to, uh, talk about the —

DI Lestrade: But I still have questions for you!

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, what now? I mean, I'm in shock! Look, I've got a blanket.

        Sherlock Holmes: Good evening, Mycroft. Try not to start a war before I get home, you know what it does 

       for the traffic.

Sherlock Holmes: You had a row with a machine?

John Watson: Sort of. It sat there and I shouted abuse at it.

Sherlock Holmes: I said 'Can you pass me a pen?'.

John Watson: What? When?

Sherlock Holmes: About an hour ago.

John Watson: Didn't notice I'd gone out then? I went out to see about a job at that surgery

DI Dimmock: Your friend...

John Watson: Listen, what ever you say, I'm behind you one hundred percent.

DI Dimmock: He's an arrogant sod.

John Watson: ...Well, that was mild.

Sherlock Holmes: I need to get some air; we're going out tonight.

John Watson: Actually, I've got a date.

Sherlock Holmes: What?

John Watson: It's when two people who like each other go out and have fun...

Sherlock Homes: That's what I was suggesting.

John Watson: No, it wasn't. At least, I hope not.

[John comes in to Baker Street, where Sherlock is casually shooting up a smiley face on the wall]

John Watson: [comes in] What the H---- are you doing?!

Sherlock Holmes: Bored...

John Watson: What?

Sherlock Holmes: BORED! [continues to shoot wall] BORED! BORED! [stops, hands the gun to Watson]

Sherlock: Catch. You. Later.

Moriarty: [High pitched, sing-song voice] No, you won't~!

[Continuing from the cliffhanger in "The Great Game", Sherlock is pointing a gun at John's explosive coat. Moriarty stares at Sherlock's decision with a hint of fear. Suddenly Staying Alive by Bee Gees plays. It's Moriarty's mobile phone]

Jim Moriarty: Mind if I get that?

Sherlock Holmes: Oh no, please. You've got the rest of your life.

[Moriarty answers his phone]

Jim Moriarty: Hello? Yes, of course it is, what do you want? [Mouthing to Sherlock] Sorry!

Sherlock Holmes: [Mouthing back sarcastically] Oh it's fine.

        John Watson: There is a mute button and I will use it.

Sherlock Holmes: Punch me in the face.

John Watson: Punch you?

Sherlock Holmes: Yes, punch me, in the face. Didn't you hear me?

John Watson: I always hear "punch me in the face" when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext.

John Watson: You want to remember, Sherlock, I was a soldier. I killed people!

Sherlock Holmes: You were a doctor!

John Watson: I had bad days!

          Sherlock Holmes (softly, to Molly): Forgive me. Merry Christmas, Molly Hooper.

Sherlock Holmes: If I wasn't everything you think I am, everything that I think I am...would you still want to help me?

Molly Hooper: What do you need?

Sherlock Holmes: You.

Sherlock Holmes: Nobody could be that clever.

John Watson: You could.

        John Watson: You you told me once that you weren't a hero. Umm… There were times when I didn't even 

       think you were human, but let me tell you this. You were the best man, the most human ---- human being that I've 
       ever known, and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie. And so there. I was so alone and I owe you so 

       much. But please, there's just one more thing...  one more miracle , Sherlock, for me, don't be dead. 

       Would you do that just for me? Just stop it. Stop this.