"The Secret Language of Business" Ch 1-6 Summary

I apologize for the odd formatting of these notes. I cannot use the bullets/numbering for the stylistic requirements of this particular entry.


The Secret Language of Business: How to Read Anyone in 3 Seconds or Less (by Kevin Hogan) in a Nutshell

This novel centralizes around body language (verbal and nonverbal communication).

Nonverbal communication:
-as implied by the name, it is the exchange of information without words.
-my example: laughing

Verbal communications:
-as you've probably assumed, it is the exchange of information with words.
-my example: "You're hysterical."


The purpose of body language:

I. to repeat verbal information
my example:
A: "Get your shoes off the table."
B: [ignores A, continuing to watch Sherlock]
A: [pushes B's feet off the table]

II. to discord verbal information
my example:
A: "I love your outfit today. That plaid cardigan really goes well with your argyle tank top."
B: [sincerely:] "Thank you!"
A: [avoids eye contact with B]
note:
-the contrast between nonverbal and verbal information suggests dishonesty, disagreement, uncomfortableness, or ambivalence.
-Person B will often pay attention to the nonverbal behaviour.

III. to add on to verbal information
my example:
A gets in trouble. A says, "I'm sorry." B notices she is pale and trembling. A is probably genuinely sorry.

IV. to avoid bluntly stating something

V. to stress speech.

VI. to manage speech (using indicative motions for transitions, etc.)


In body language, there are senders, receivers, and observers.


I. the sender is the one acting out the behaviour
     A. whether s/he knows it or not -- it can be instinctive, impulsive

II. the receiver translates the sender's behaviour and acts upon it.

III. the observer watches and translates the entire scene.
     A. note that the observer is biased to some degree.


Note the following when observing someone: eyes, face, physical looks, voice, touch, posture, motions

I. caution: consider multiple exterior factors (context) when judging
     A. behaviour is altered by multiple factors
             i. some include how casual the setting is, who is listening in, proximity, surroundings, cultural
                tendencies

II. pupil dilation is stimulated from excitement, happiness, and deep thinking.

III. note the actions of lips, nose, cheeks, etc. when judging by the face.
      A. there will be another blog post regarding facial emotion recognition

IV. the positioning of one's palms are a "surprisingly consistent cue" (pg 46)
     A. you must be communicating with a person of relatively close proximity (under 2 metres apart)
     B. palms mostly up: friendly, interested/ intrigued
     C. palms mostly down: "rarely signals comfort, vulnerability, or interest"(pg 46)

V. Physical looks often includes the assessment of...
     A. face shape, eyebrows, body build, clothes, nails (manicured or not)
         i. this is not a comprehensive list.

VI. Voice often includes the assessment of...
     A. tone, pitch, stress, accent, clarity, stops in speech
        i. this is not a comprehensive list.

Examining proximity up close  (pun intended)

I. Intimate space: a circle around you with a 23cm radius

II. Personal space: 46 cm from you to 122 cm from you
     A. but know that people's 'personal bubbles' vary in size

III. Interesting Generalization:
     A. males are more comfortable when situated apart from others
     B. around other females, females are more comfortable when situated with each other
     C. around males, females are more comfortable when situated apart from the males.

Types of body signals

I. status (posture, where you're situated -- like on stairs)
II. dominance (hand position)
III. Submission (avoiding eye contact)
IV. questioning (hesitance)
V. individualistic traits (differs with each person)